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D-Day

I don’t know what I was expecting from today, my D-Day, the day of my first Decapeptyl injection. I was just nervous. Not so much about the needle going in; more about how I would feel afterwards. At precisely 0857, I arrived at my local GP surgery, complete with loose clothing and an upbeat mannerContinue reading “D-Day”

Menopause is

Having to concentrate really hard in the mornings so that you don’t pour boiling water on your breakfast cereal. Stumbling around the house looking for a lost phone before realising that the cat is standing on your keyboard. Saying “What?” when there is a gap in the conversation that you forgot you were part of.Continue reading “Menopause is”

How do you know when you’ve married the right man?

Bear with me, dear reader, and I’ll explain. Alternatively: TLDR? – ok then, skip ahead to the last paragraph … I’ll just assume you’re not a Guinness drinker. Years ago, not long after I’d quit teaching full time, I bought a (humiliating admission time … deep breath …) fitness DVD. I just needed my mojoContinue reading “How do you know when you’ve married the right man?”

The Place

I’ve been in this Place before. It’s empty and vast. It’s not dark; just obscure. Or opaque. I’m not sure which. There’s no fear, no noise, nothing. There’s just. Absence. Of everything. In the emptiness, there is calm; but no peace. There’s no point to anything; but that’s alright. Thoughts drip sluggishly, springing out of,Continue reading “The Place”

Windows

Let me open a window for you. It is a window into Then. My mother’s hair is not yet grey; mine will not be grey, for decades to come. I am trying to understand something – so, I ask her: why would any woman actively want to put herself through the pain of childbirth? SheContinue reading “Windows”

Wine cricket

I went to the Co-Op for bread. I punched that damn bread so hard that my fist went through one side of the loaf and out of the other. A woman stared at me and I didn’t care. I didn’t care that I had a loaf of bread around my wrist, I didn’t care about herContinue reading “Wine cricket”

Root Canal

Damn you, Bette Midler. I was out walking last weekend and was listening to the soundtrack of It’s a Sin (which, by the way, is hands down the best TV series I’ve ever watched. With the possible exception of Penny Dreadful – City of Angels). The soundtrack to It’s a Sin is absolutely packed with classic 80s tunes andContinue reading “Root Canal”

Foothills

What a difference a year makes. Or does it? One year ago, it was March, which is Endometriosis Awareness Month. This year, it’s March again (surprise!) and it’s Endometriosis Awareness Month again. One year ago, I had just been given a diagnosis of endometriosis. (And, only one year before that, I had only just heardContinue reading “Foothills”

Balance

I have to work today. Yet, here I am, as Gwyneth Paltrow might put it, consciously unworking. (Disclaimer before I continue: this blog does not advocate the bodily insertion of egg-shaped minerals, nor any steaming device, nor the infusion of bodily secretions into candles.) I spend a lot of time these days working, to makeContinue reading “Balance”

Calendarless

For the first time in many years, I did not receive a Cute Cats Calendar for Christmas. Every year for I don’t know how long, I have been gifted the same calendar, by my aunt. They say you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til you lose it – well, my aunt died in September, leavingContinue reading “Calendarless”